Family Guy Quotes are in my head all the time and at risk of making a fool of myself in public, I’ve decided to release my inner Griffin by sharing my favourite Family Guy Quotes with the community of Finger Jam. The post will feature quotes from all your favourite characters, enjoy! Any Family Guy Quotes you think should feature? Let us know by commenting at the bottom!

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New Hairdresser salon opens, with all customers given huge dorsal shaped flat-tops.

The Eurozone gave a massive sigh of relief today as Italy declared it could save billions of Euros and help stave off debt by cutting the premier’s prostitute bill by half.
Silvio Berlusconi has taken it upon himself to cut Italian spending and show other Italians that austerity starts at home. Known for his free spirit and attraction to the opposite sex, Berlusconi is willing to deprive himself of every Italian’s right for the sake of the country.

To celebrate such an Historic move Italians were given the whole week off work and given free train rides for the rest of the year.

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Manchester United jokes raise their head usually when there has been a memorable defeat, and oh did we see a big one this weekend. After the Manchester United drubbing of 6-1 (six-one) by Manchester City we thought we’d share some Manchester United Jokes with you.

We love laughing at footballers especially the really wealthy ones, successful ones, the rubbish ones, the stupid ones and obviously John Terry above all. So if you have any Manchester United or Manchester City jokes we’d love to hear them

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Top 5 Edinburgh Fringe Festival Jokes – don’t expect too much and despite it saying “2011″ some of these are older than my pants.

The Edinburgh Fringe Festival has a competition to see whose joke is the funniest during the course of the event. Last year it was Tim Vine that won, but he was in second place this year. The top five jokes were as follows :

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It has been revealed that the whole British public regret what they said about injunctions and they really don’t want to hear any more private gossip about any footballers or their families.

With a 19th consecutive story about Ryan Giggs, his brother, his brother’s landlord, the landlord’s sister, the sister’s nanny and the nanny’s recent holiday to Magaluf in The Sun today, The British public has decided that it probably protested too much before and rich people can do what the hell they want and get High Court Judges to keep it private.

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It has been revealed that a man has had a stroke whilst watching the women’s beach volleyball tournament in Brighton, England.

The man, a Mr Barry Whitehead who was in his 50s was reported to be acting normally up until the half-way point of the first set. The game, Brazil versus Ukraine was hotting up and tension was mounting. It was at the point of Maria Hanendez’s serve that the man began to shift uncomfortably in his seat and it is then that he had the stroke.

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As morning broke, British destroyers approached the North Sea Coast of Denmark fully armed and primed for battle. Amongst the war hungry fleet were Destroyers HMS Dauntless, HMS Daring and HMS Manchester, waiting for the call from the Prime Minister to enter battle and obliterate Denmark and push over Legoland.

Just hours before, Denmark was considered a stable, friendly state and one that Britain would even call a friend. Previously economists would aspire to be like the friendly scandinavians and liberal democrats hanker at their convivial ways. That was before the Danish turned into seemingly psychopathic fascists by banning marmite from the shelves of its stores.

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A Grown man is able to name all the characters In the toddler BBC series In The Night Garden it has been revealed.

In front of a packed press room, Keith Trolley, a 33 year old Marketing manager from Basingstoke told us that he knows all the characters of In The Night Garden off by heart, and was prepared to prove it in front of the national press.

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The owner of Wings Luxury Travel Mini coaches who supplied the mini buses for the Royal Wedding has fallen into a joyous, ecstasy induced, orgasmic coma it has been reported.

It is alleged that when he saw his royal mini buses drive down the Mall, packed with scores of minor Royals, and then stop in front of the television cameras, with the “Wings” logo beamed to 4 billion eyeballs across the world, the owner collapsed and almost literally exploded with orgasmic joy.