By Sam. Posted in Humour, Random chat | No Comments »
The Daily Mail, the paper of middle Britain and the bible of aspiring middle class housewives, is a British Newspaper that is angry, yes it’s very angry.
It seems to hate loads of things and is always screaming about some Horseman of the Apocalypse that is going to do us all in. But what the Daily Mail seems to dislike most is the biggest website in the world – It really dislikes Facebook.
In 3 years it’s written an amazing 451 articles about the Social Networking site for its 2.2 million daily visitors. Facebook in return has already threatened to sue the Daily Mail regarding a piece that isn’t here. Here are the top ten types of articles of doom that could prey on us while using Facebook – according to the Daily Mail.
These are actual Daily Mail Headlines:
10 – Paedophiles are everywhere on Facebook
We all know that as soon as we join Facebook some Pedo will be trying to buy us sweets and attempt to spy at us in our gym slips.
9 – Facebook will turn children’s brain to mush
Yes that’s right, kids who use Facebook will suffer and have their brains melted into a gooey slush.
8 – Your details will be stolen and your whole lives cloned
Enter the doors of Facebook and expect all your worldly possessions to be stolen in a flash, your bank account cleared, your emails hacked and your wife propositioned by a Belarusian mafioso.
7 – Facebook will get your house trashed
Before Facebook never had a toilet been ripped off a wall by local scrotes when the rich kids parents were on holiday.
6 – You’ll become a dirty addict
I can’t get through a day until i get my hit of at least 30 new friends and 23 pokes.
5 – Facebook will make you fat and an introvert
You’re either addicted to friends, or you won’t want any. Oh and you’ll eat loads of cake.
4 – Facebook will turn you into a porn star or a murderer
Beware, post a nice photo of yourself on Facebook and before you know it you’ll be a famous webcam porn star. Change your status and you’ll be hacked to pieces.
3 – Facebook will ruin your marriage
Be warned, entering Facebook is like a request for divorce papers.
2 – Facebook will give you 19th Century STDs
Before Facebook syphilis was eradicated in the western world. But now, with all those dirty groups, ongoing poking and friend addiction it’s back.
1 – Facebook will give you Cancer
A real headline. (link)
Just imagine if it was another company in these headlines other than Facebook.
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